You would think with all the social media sites that have popped up everywhere along with countless dating services, you’d find someone that’s right for you. But, like living in a large city, there might be millions of people to choose from but that’s not always going to happen. Do you know that approximately 50% of people looking for their special match have a lot of trouble finding them? In many cases, we are our own worst enemies because of habits, thoughts, and how we see ourselves.
We decided to start looking into reasons for not finding good matches and what is preventing people from finding a long-term, harmonious relationship. We are going to share with you those leading reasons people are alone and can’t figure out why.
1. You Are Looking For A Relationship That Is Far Too Ideal
Everyone seems to think they know what a perfect relationship is and in many cases they form their ideas around a bunch of romantic movies or a novel they couldn’t put down. Too many people will go on praying their stories or characters will come true. Unfortunately, there are no perfect people or perfect relationships. Relationships take work and both parties have to be into building a relationship that will withstand the test of time. The person you are looking for is not a character from a book or a movie. While you are meeting and getting to know other people, just remember we all have faults just like the rest of the world and you must expect them.
2. You Are Unable To Forgive
The bottom line, we all make mistakes but when you mess something up, you can’t seem to get trust back even if you are absolutely sure it will not happen again. In many cases, we are way to unbending when someone makes a mistake but don’t hold ourselves accountable when we mess up.
In some cases, it might take some time, but couples will come back together and forgive each other for our indiscretions. In many cases, couples will move forward and actually live trusting healthy relationships. Just keep in mind, you cannot force someone else or even yourself to accept things that you or your partner do not agree with but it would be wise not to pass judgment too quickly. There might have been occurrences that your partner did but because you have invested time and energy into your relationship, you might want to give them a second chance.
3. You are not ready for a relationship.
Not everyone is ready to jump into a relationship even if they are certain that love brings joy. In many cases, it’s important to deal with more pressing issues before trying to build a relationship with someone.
As an example, at this time you have ghosts you are trying to deal with so you prefer to be alone. You have just gotten over a divorce, the death of a parent, and are simply looking for some peace of mind. You do not want to repeat the same negative experiences of the past. So spending time alone will help you find a way for inner peace and find happiness in order to start a good relationship.
Sometimes, it’s smarter and wiser to work on your own issues instead of trying to lean on someone else to get you through them. When you take your time to work through difficult times, you might make you stronger in the long run.
4. You don’t have self-respect
If you want to find someone who wants a long-term relationship with you, start working on your own self-respect. I can’t possibly imagine anyone being drawn to someone who has low to no self-esteem. All they will get from that kind of relationship will be non-connective that is not good for anyone.
As an example, if you ever saw the movie “The Holiday”, you know that Kate Winslet played a character who thought she was in love with a guy who was only using her for her loyalty and talent. Well, when the light finally came on, she knew it was time to unload this guy. She changed her surroundings, the people around her, found new interests and found a new love. If you are looking for changes, first and foremost, connect with your own inner support that will be there when you are depressed and down. Think about your achievements, your hobbies, knowledge, your strong values, and just about anything that is really important to you and reflects your own true values. Above and become all else, never, ever let someone make you question your own importance.
5. You violate other’s private space
There are people who use manipulation to fix a relationship but in reality, it never really works. I don’t know anyone who would allow being manipulated or allow someone else to change them. In “Gone Girl”, Rosamund Pike’s character was set on punishing her husband for cheating so she made him her puppet, forcing him to go through some insane challenges. Sadly, she returned and found that her husband’s love and trust were gone and he was genuinely scared for his life.
In all relationships, there are boundaries that must be respected. These boundaries end where another person’s boundaries begin. The bottom line, if you don’t like the way your partner is acting and they don’t seem to care how you feel, you have to make a decision. You have the choice to stay in this miserable relationship or get up and walk out! Keep one thing in mind, trying to change someone who doesn’t want to be changed is an impossible relationship.
6. Your Ego Is In The Way
There are people who have enormous egos that continually tell them they are the sun, moon, and stars! Huge egos are the leading reason why relationships never work for them. If you only think of yourself and your wants and needs, there will be no room for a solid relationship to grow. Even if you think what you are trying to push on someone else is good for both of you, you are not considering their feelings or their needs.
Egotistical people do not realize the world and everyone on it revolves around them. There have been many celebrities who have been so glorified, they honestly believe everything revolves them when in reality, that’s just not the case. In the end, they wonder why they go through relationships like water. If you want a good relationship, both parties must be considered, respected, and given the ability to develop a long-lasting solid relationship.